Clik here to view.
Smokers banned from naming or pointing at favourite brand
In further moves to discourage smoking, the Department of Health have announced a complete ban on naming your favourite brand of cigarette or pointing at them in the newsagents and tobacconists. ‘From...
View ArticleBenson & Hedges launch ‘the cigarette’
Hailed as the best hope yet of helping people overcome their addiction to nicotine, Benson & Hedges have announced the launch of their innovative ‘cigarette’, a device that is set to replace...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Smoking lobby speaks out against swimming pool pissing ban
Still smarting from the ban on smoking in public places, the tobacco industry today turned its attention to another unjustified infringement of civil liberties that it says has clear parallels to the...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Party manifestos to be displayed in plain packets with government health warning
New election rules mean that all political manifestos will be required by law to be displayed inside plain white packets with a prominent health warning. Politicians will no longer be able to publicly...
View ArticleMan disappointed as fag packet contains no tumour
Norfolk Trading Standards has received a complaint from a customer who bought a packet of cigarettes which was found to contain neither a tumour nor the badly damaged set of lungs depicted on the...
View ArticleUnemployed chain smokers to replace animals in science experiment labs
The influence of animal rights campaigners became evident today as the government announced plans to forcibly replace animals in science experiment labs with unemployed smokers, drinkers and drug...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Cigarettes ‘could help people quit hypnotherapy’
Simon was a spending a fortune on it. Susan alienated all her friends with her addiction to it. Imogen says she used to use it as an emotional crutch whenever she had any sort of stress in their lives....
View ArticleClik here to view.
Lung cancer still looks ‘way cool’, say scientists
Scientists and ‘guys with leather jackets’ have hailed the number of smokers across the world reaching the one billion mark as a ringing endorsement of nicotine, pulmonary disease, Dot Cotton and...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Government proposes post-coital smoking ban
Heterosexual couples who light up after sex will face hefty fines under a proposed new law to protect unborn children. The latest scientific research has indicated that after orgasm, smoking can...
View ArticleCountry pubs to re-introduce smoking to mask odour of smelly dogs
Rural inns are to be allowed to defy the smoking ban following complaints that the smell of cigarettes is better than the foul stench of customers’ damp dogs. The move is in recognition of the fact...
View Article
